This week we continue our focus on the important (and invisible!) forces behind making great decisions: Cognitive Biases.
Each newsletter in this series will explore a few specific biases that unconsciously derail judgment, along with tools to spot and counter them.
The series will look like this:
Biases that Distort Decision-Making (
link)
Biases that Ride on Emotions (
link)
Week 4: Biases in Social Contexts
Week 5: Biases that Block Learning
Week 6, if you’re interested: Complex Systems and Lollapalooza Effects
Deep Dive on Biases in Social Situations
Why do we sometimes stay silent in meetings, back ideas we don’t fully believe in, or trust someone’s opinion just because we like them?
This week we’re diving into social biases; the hidden forces that shape our thinking anytime we’re around other people.
Given that we’re around people for a significant portion of our lives, this is an important set of biases to be aware of!
The presence of other humans is just like the presence of emotions we covered last week - they create vulnerability in your thinking without realizing it!
Just like cultivating emotional intelligence improves your ability to protect against biases, so does creating social intelligence, especially in how you relate to others.
Calling back to the Socialized Form of Mind
Last fall I wrote a newsletter on one of my favorite fundamental frameworks: Forms of Mind / Adult Development Theory. It outlines how humans develop their mental complexity over a lifetime. The second of four stages is where most adults sit, and it’s called the “socialized” form of mind.
In the socialized form of mind, people absorb their values unconsciously from important others around them. This model explains the mechanism by which people are so effectively guided by people or institutions that are important to them (e.g. religious groups, political parties, or their company).
People with this form of mind are significantly influenced by their relationships to other people, and it’s this influential link that creates cognitive vulnerability!
In a socialized form of mind, where you don’t know what you think until someone else tells you, when you experience a novel work or personal situation, you’re unmoored.
In this situation you will have a tendency to wait for other perspectives to emerge before sharing yours.
You’re downgrading your own judgment in exchange for social safety.
That has huge implications for the self, because this is happening unconsciously. You may not even realize that your thinking and behavior is being influenced in this way.
Knowing this tendency also creates an imperative for leaders.
Why Creating Psychological Safety is Important
If each person has this tendency, then this tendency also exists in the group.
If your team is suppressing their thinking to retain connection to the social group, are you getting their best thinking?
No!
And you need their best thoughts to be shared.
You want to leverage everyone’s perspective and intelligence to their highest use. You want to increase intellectual friction and reduce social friction amongst the team.
If you don’t consistently push your team up the ladder of psychological safety (the four stages are: Inclusion Safety, Learner Safety, Contributor Safety, Challenger Safety), you’re creating the conditions where social cognitive biases to flourish.
This is a system design issue. If your team is trading judgment for acceptance, that’s not a flaw in them, it’s a reflection of the environment (good people working in a bad system create bad outcomes). And as a leader, you shape that environment.
Assuming you’re already hard at work creating this environment of psychological safety, what can you do to be aware of and counter these social biases in yourself?
The Anti-Bias Toolkit: Part 3
If you want to lead with clarity - and think independently even when others are watching - these are the biases to watch for in yourself.
1️⃣ Social Proof
What it is: We assume something is right or safe just because other people seem to think so, especially when we’re unsure.
Examples:
- In meetings, you stay silent because no one else is speaking up, even though you have doubts.
- You assume a product is good because it has thousands of reviews or your peers are using it.
- You back a strategy because the rest of the leadership team seems aligned, even though you’re unsure.
Why it matters:
- It makes you susceptible to manipulation. Marketers, leaders, or peers can steer your decisions simply by signaling popularity or consensus.
- It fosters groupthink and suppresses dissent, even when you see real risks.
- It’s comforting to go along with the crowd, but it often hides your true judgment.
How to spot it: Ask yourself:
- “Would I feel the same way about this idea if I didn’t know how others feel?”
- “Am I holding back because I’m afraid of being the only one?”
- “If I were first to speak, would I say something different?”
Also look for:
- Silence, or agreement, that feels more like safety-seeking than actual conviction.
- Hesitating to share a contrarian opinion until someone else does.
- Feeling relief when someone else voices your doubt, then speaking up.
How to counter it:
- Go first: Share your real take before polling others.
- Check in: “If I were evaluating this alone, what would I think?”
- Normalize dissent: Say out loud that disagreement is valuable, then model it.
2️⃣ Liking / Loving Tendency
What it is: We trust, support, or agree with people we like, even when their ideas don’t deserve it. It sounds like: “I like you, therefore I trust you, support you, and don’t scrutinize you as much.”
Examples:
- You give your favorite colleague the benefit of the doubt, even when their idea is weak.
- You don’t press back on a mentor’s advice, even though it doesn’t quite fit your situation.
- You overlook red flags in a new hire because they remind you of someone you admire.
Why it matters:
- It clouds judgment and creates blind spots, especially in hiring, decision-making, and leadership.
- It makes it hard to spot when a good relationship is influencing your objectivity.
- It can result in double standards or overly soft feedback.
How to spot it: Ask yourself:
- “Would I evaluate this the same way if someone else said it?”
- “Am I hesitating to question this because I don’t want to disappoint them?”
- “Is this decision based on merit, or my emotional comfort?”
Also look for:
- Using “but they’re so great” to excuse mediocre performance or ideas.
- Feeling loyal to the person instead of the decision’s logic.
How to counter it:
- Strip the name: Evaluate the idea without attaching it to the person.
- Invite in an outsider: Get a second opinion from someone not emotionally invested.
- Check for symmetry: Would you give the same feedback to someone you like less?
3️⃣ Fundamental Attribution Error
What it is: We explain other people’s mistakes as flaws in their character, but see our own as the result of context.
Examples:
- Someone takes a day to respond to your message, and you assume they’re disorganized. When you take a day, it’s because you were in back-to-back meetings.
- A colleague stays quiet in a meeting, so you assume they’re disengaged. When you stay quiet, it’s because you’re being thoughtful or letting others speak.
- Someone shows up late to a meeting, and you assume they don’t respect your time. When you’re late, it’s because your last call ran over or your kid needed help.
Why it matters:
- It erodes trust, because people feel misjudged and unseen.
- It creates false narratives, turning neutral behavior into character flaws.
- It undermines collaboration, because you stop giving people the benefit of the doubt.
- It blocks feedback loops, because if you’ve already decided who someone is, you’re less likely to engage them constructively.
How to spot it: Ask yourself:
- “What story am I telling myself about their intent?”
- “Have I asked them what’s going on, or am I assuming?”
- “If I were in their shoes, how would I want to be seen?”
Also look for:
- Quick judgments about someone’s character without context.
- Language like “they’re always like that” or “that’s just who they are.”
- Feeling more justified in your own slip-ups than others’.
How to counter it:
- Pause the judgment story: Ask what else could explain their behavior.
- Flip the script: Imagine they’re telling this story about you. What’s missing?
- Default to context over character, especially when your emotional reaction is strong.
4️⃣ Halo Effect
What it is: We assume someone is great at everything just because they’re great at one thing (including traits like charisma or confidence).
Examples:
- Someone’s a great public speaker, so you assume they’re also a great strategist.
- You trust a teammate’s judgment because of their charisma without evaluating the underlying thinking.
- You overlook poor attention to detail because someone is charismatic and confident.
Why it matters:
- It over-inflates your perception of someone’s competence.
- It can lead to poor delegation, blind spots, or lopsided decision-making.
- It keeps you from noticing when strengths in one area hide weaknesses in another.
How to spot it: Ask yourself:
- “What am I actually basing this judgment on?”
- “Would I still think this if they weren’t so [smart/funny/charismatic]?”
- “Have I seen evidence across the board, or just in one domain?”
Also look for:
- Assuming someone “must be good at everything.”
- Being slow to adjust your opinion even after poor results.
- Using vague language like “they just get it” without specifics.
How to counter it:
- Get specific: Name the exact skills or behaviors you’ve seen, not just the overall impression.
- Check the transfer: Ask yourself, “Does their strength in one area really apply here?”
- Ask for contrast: Get a second opinion from someone less impressed, and see what they notice that you might be missing.
Bringing it All Together
All biases are sneaky because they don’t feel like bias. Here, it feels like being a good teammate, a respectful colleague, or a loyal friend.
But if we trade our own judgment for belonging, we lose something vital: our ability to think clearly in the presence of others.
That’s why developing this kind of social intelligence is just as important as emotional intelligence.
It’s how we move from being shaped by our social environment to being anchored in our true perspective. It’s also how leaders create teams where ideas rise on their merit, not on popularity, power, or personality.
Spotting these patterns in yourself is the first step toward that kind of clarity.
Call to Action
This week, notice when your thoughts shift in response to the people around you.
Do you hold back a dissenting opinion in a meeting?
Do you trust someone’s idea a little more because you like them - or because others do?
Do you catch yourself telling a story about someone’s character instead of their context?
If you catch it - pause. Then check your thinking against the four social biases: Social Proof, Liking / Loving Bias, Fundamental Attribution Error, and Halo Effect.
Notice what changes when you anchor back into your own perspective! Share the details with me if you notice anything interesting.
Kevin 😁
