An Introvert's Structured Approach to Networking - Part 1

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Quick Note

I’m getting pretty familiar with the "resistance" before starting something new.

It happens every time I start a new project. I’m working with new people. I’m doing new types of work. I like to be prepared, so the uncertainty can feel daunting.

But I also continue to learn that action takes the fear away. Feeling follows action, not the other way around. Getting started makes me feel better.

As soon as I get 2-3 hours into a project - preferably all at one time - the fear is replaced with calm confidence. By then I’ve started to break down the problem and have a plan. I understand what needs to be done, and even if there is still some uncertainty left, I feel confident I’ll figure it out.

Even though I know that and have experienced it multiple time, the resistance still appears ahead of something new. There’s a new project I’m 80% sure I’ll close in the next month, and it still feels scary 🤣

I’m going to work on the project between now and then in an attempt to get through the fear to confidence. I know there’s a tipping point where things start feeling like running downhill - I just have to find it.

Why work on it before it closes? Because I like to fail forward.

This is work I know I want to do, and want to sell more of later. Even if the client ultimately says no on this, I’ll have:
- Data on where my pricing sits in the market, and what differentiates me.
- Contract language written that I can re-use.
- Early artifacts for the project. I can use these on my website. I can use this as a starting point for the next one.

So no matter what happens, because of this experience, I’ll be that much more likely to close the deal next time. And when it closes, I’ll be slightly faster and more ready. The fear will be less.

Are you resisting anything right now? Are there any baby steps you can take?

Kevin

PS - In a rare moment of alignment to this section, the quote this week is Steven Pressfield talking about the resistance you feel before starting something important!

A Quote

“ Never forget: This very moment, we can change our lives. There never was a moment, and never will be, when we are without the power to alter our destiny. This second, we can turn the tables on Resistance. This second, we can sit down and do our work. — Steven Pressfield in "The War of Art"

Three Things

1 - 🪴 Cool Dirt Ceramics
My friend Nick is an amazing ceramicist here in Austin. His online store for pottery is live. Right now it’s only for pick up or delivery in Austin (no shipping), but even if you don’t live here, check it out and give him some love as he works to share his art!

2 - ⌚ Casio Ring Watch
This is a watch…for your finger. It looks fake, but seems real! What an interesting use of funds at Casio. Free high five if I find someone in real life wearing this.

3 - 🍺 King of the Hill is coming back
I understand King of the Hill on a deeper level since moving to Texas. It’s been off the air for over a decade, but they’re bringing it back for another season. If you haven’t seen this show before, check it out! (It’s on Hulu in the US).

(please enjoy this 7️⃣ minute read)

Deep Dive on The Importance of Networking

I never learned how to network.

I didn’t notice other people doing it.

I felt like I was doing alright without it.

I assumed networking was an extrovert’s game that wasn’t for me anyway.

It didn’t help that I thought networking meant printing out business cards, going to some sort of conference hall, and exchanging those cards with other random people - possibly in a smoke-filled conference hall for some reason.

It sounded dumb, and I thought I had better things to do with my time.

As a result, I spent more than 20 years NEVER networking. I had a LinkedIn profile, and when a new person joined the team, I’d probably connect with them on there. That was the extent of my networking.

Fast forward to today, and I’ve done a 180 on networking.

I do it. 😲

I like it. 🤯

And I see how immensely valuable it is. 😊

In the last 18 months I’ve had roughly 308 different networking meetings. That’s 17 per month, or nearly one every business day. I only mention these numbers to show that if a shy and introverted person who ignored networking for 20 years can find joy, value, and progress in this, so can you.

Today and next week I’ll share with you what I’ve learned on my 0→308 journey so you can get value from networking, too.

What is Networking?

You’re probably smarter and more aware of networking than I was, so you may not need it demystified like I did.

But just in case, here’s what I’ve learned networking is.

Meeting people.

That’s it! It’s not complicated. You meet people, find out what they’re up to, and how you can help.

You don't need to attend huge conferences. You can meet people 1-1, which is especially easy today with video conferencing.

It can be broken down into a rough process that looks like this:

Discover → Reach Out → Meet → Refer → Reconnect

Then you just do that over and over again for the rest of your life. It’s pretty simple. No smoke-filled conference halls required.

The Importance of Networking

You may have heard the phrase, “your network is your net worth.” I didn’t understand what that meant, but then again, I didn’t cultivate a network!

Now that I’ve been doing it for a while, I’ve come to see three main personal benefits to doing so, and all three affect your ability to make money.

Hiring
I’ve conducted over 1000 interviews in my life and hired hundreds of people - and interviewing is still hard for me.

My job as a leader is to hire well, so to improve my hiring, my first thought was that I need to get better an interviewing. But no matter how good you are at interviewing, it’s still a gamble. I’ve seen very experienced and senior leaders set up robust panels and interview processes - and still whiff on hiring.

Then I had an epiphany.

What if I met qualified leaders first, before I needed them? I’d get to know them and their characteristics, and if they were solid, I could hire them for a role that appeared. That requires networking, and makes interviewing less critical!

Networking helps you surround yourself with a solid team, and a solid team is how you can advance in your career.

Referrals
Every client I have in Group 18 comes from networking.

The more people I meet and share what I do, the more people have me in the back of their mind when they are meeting people. If they meet someone who has a problem I can help solve, they’ll connect the two of us.

A referral might be for paid work, but a referral can be informal, too. Sometimes it’s just, “Hey, you should really meet so-and-so. They’re doing cool work in the same space.”

Those are inbound referrals. Referrals can be outbound as well. When I’m talking to someone and share a challenge or need, they can refer me to someone in their network! For example, if I am getting stuck on marketing, someone can say, “Hey, I know this stellar marketing person. Let me connect you.”

Whether you’re getting real business or meeting someone cool, whether it’s inbound or outbound, referrals are an awesome byproduct of networking.

Inspiration
People are doing fascinating things. It’s like a Richard Scarry book in real life; people are hustling and bustling around town, doing all sorts of things you’ve never heard of.

I’ve learned so much about what’s possible by meeting so many interesting people. It’s given me such inspiration for what I can do in my own life.

Go network and get inspired!

All that just covers what networking is and why it’s important. Let’s work on connecting this to your goals and getting the right mindset.

Connect to Your Goals and Habits

The first step I’d recommend in networking is knowing why you’re networking. I didn’t network for 20 years because I had no why. If I understood the power of it, I’d have done it so much earlier.

In the book “Who Not How” Dan Sullivan argues that who you work with, not how you work, is the main driver of success.

What are your goals? Whatever they are, people can help you reach them.

Once you understand why you’re going to network, you need to turn it into a habit. What’s in your control?

A simple action you can take can be “reach out to five people per week.” Not everyone will get back to you, so shoot for a number higher than you think. Five is a good starting point.

To be structured about this, I recommend putting this in a spreadsheet. If you want to reach out to five people per week, have rows labeled 1-5, and then one column per week. Write the names of the people you reached out to in the columns. This gives a handy visual reference so you can see how well you are - or are not - performing your habit.

Don’t be Selfish

My biggest advice for successful networking is not to be selfish.

Yes, there are personal benefits to networking, but consider them the byproduct of you being valuable to others first.

Be interested in the other person! How can you help? What are their goals? What are their challenges? Do you know someone who can help, or can you help yourself?

Be interesting! Be open and vulnerable about what’s going on in your world. What are you trying to achieve? What’s getting in your way?

Being interested and interesting are both valuable for the other person. The first because you’re trying to help them, and the second because people like to surround themselves with interesting people.

Part of not being selfish is don’t sell. Don’t be pushy. I don’t like it when someone comes on strong to me, so I don’t come on strong to them. If you can help on the call, help on the call. Stay connected with the person, and business opportunities, if they exist, will come.

Last but not least - have fun.

Don’t Fake Being Helpful

I hate it when someone ends a call with 30 seconds remaining by asking, “How can I help you?”

When I first encountered this, I was never prepared to answer it, but I thought, “Great! I’m glad they asked. They’re interested in helping me.”

But over time I learned that it's a perfunctory question - they probably read it in a book.

By it being their last question they don’t really want to help you because there’s not enough time to get into it.

Also, by asking it, it means they weren’t paying attention to the conversation or they would have known how to help already.

No one that’s ever asked me that has ever subsequently been helpful.

So if you want to be helpful, just be helpful. Don’t ask “How can I help you?” at the end of a call.

Call Tactics

Before the call, do some quick research. Take even two minutes to give yourself context. Where do they live? Where do they work? How are you connected?

Write out some questions. I do this in Obsidian before a call. What would you like to know? Be interested!

You’re not doing a long-form podcast, so you don’t need many, and they can be simple. Ask:
▪︎What are your goals?
▪︎What’s a big challenge you’re facing?

During the call, take notes. You’ll want these for later. What were their goals? What was their challenge? Who do they want to talk to?

You’ll need these notes to make sure you’re being valuable to your network - which we’ll cover in more detail next week 😊

I’m a huge advocate for networking. It’s been an amazing and transformative process for me.

If, like me, you’ve never done it before, that’s no problem! Once you align on the power of networking, then you can tie it to your goals, and start building the habit. Next week I’ll get into the tactics of discovering people and doing outreach.

Call to Action

Reach out to someone you already know, but haven’t talked to in a while. Nurture the people that are already part of your network.

This should be easy practice since you already have a connection with this person. When you’re on the call, be interested and interesting. Find out what they’re up to. Do you know anyone who could help them?

And if networking seems daunting, let me know if you have any questions!

Have fun 😁

Kevin